Faking smiles to pass the time,
Pretending I’m okay,
Pretending I’m not a liar,
Pretending life was just as good before,
Pretending I’m in control.
Pretending what I pretend is true.
Faking my sanity more and more.
Faking laughter to make you stay,
Hoping you won’t leave,
Hoping I haven’t scared you off,
Hoping I’m almost done with an uphill climb,
Hoping I’ll find control,
Hoping it won’t hurt to fall,
Faking the words, “I’m not lonely.”
Faking love to find it true,
Leaving all I knew behind,
Leaving all my goals and dreams,
Leaving my failures wading within your wins,
Leaving my mind to find my heart,
Leaving my false hope to the children,
Faking my cockiness every day.
Faking that I know just where to start,
Ending when I’ve barely begun,
Ending what could have been more,
Ending the hurt and my haunting nightmares,
Ending the consequences I’ve dealt myself,
Ending my fight with daily life.
Faking that I’m okay.
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